Deep Fried Liver

From: The Astonishing FartMan
To: Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com
Sent: Wed, January 19, 2011 11:15:27 AM
Subject: Deep Fried Liver
Hey everybody,

As you might recollect, tomorrow (January 20) the stretch limo will arrive to take us to L____ Hospital for the big 2011 Liver Fry-Off and Filleting Contest, featuring Yours Truly in a once-in-a-lifetime command performance, with Dr. G_______ J________, as the Master of Ceremonies, and a huge supporting cast, all wearing their traditional native costumes with matching masks.

Actually, I‘ve heard that these star-studded mega-events, just like the Oscars and the Emmys, are usually pretty boring, so I might try to sleep through it. (Somebody poke me if the camera catches me snoring, drooling, scratching, or worse!)

S______ or I will be in touch with an update as soon as we recover from the “after-party” hangover, which could take a few days. Meanwhile, no news is good news.

(BTW: They finally nailed down what caused my cancer. As everyone already suspected, it was indeed Sarah Palin’s fault. Okay, if not entirely her fault, then certainly she bears a major share of responsibility, because of all the inflammatory things she’s said about how cancer should be ”targeted for defeat,” . . . . or something like that.)

See You on The Other Side,
Your Astonishing FartMan