The Absurd Epistolary Adventures of the Astonishing FartMan chronicles the amusing escapades
of the lovable, stinky, and obnoxious Cape & Tights Super Hero, and his maudlin Alter Ego, W____,
as they learn to cope with Stage IV colon cancer, each other, and their annoying fellow human beings.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

In My Nest on the Loveseat

From: W_______
Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2011 11:51 AM
To: Family
Subject: Incommunicado

Hey Everybody,

Sorry to have been so incommunicado lately.

Recovery from the liver surgery is sloooooow. Most of the time I feel tired, and all it takes is a little activity to make me really tired. So I have about 4 or 5 “good” hours a day when I have just enough energy to eat, bathe, try to get a little exercise, etc. The rest of time, I’m in a semi-vegetative state, propped up between lots of pillows in my nest on the loveseat. From what I understand, this is par for the course after a right hepatectomy, so there’s nothing to worry about. It just takes time.

I’m supposed to restart chemo tomorrow: every other Monday, five or six of hours in-clinic poisoning, and then take a 46 hour dose of the 5FU devil juice "to go" via the port-o-pump. Not looking forward to being tethered to the stupid chemo pump, and no matter how bad you feel, the chemo will make you feel worse.

So—considering that I’m already moving pretty slow—the devil juice will probably put me flat on my butt, and my communications might be even fewer and more far between for a while. But remember, no news is good news.


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