The Absurd Epistolary Adventures of the Astonishing FartMan chronicles the amusing escapades
of the lovable, stinky, and obnoxious Cape & Tights Super Hero, and his maudlin Alter Ego, W____,
as they learn to cope with Stage IV colon cancer, each other, and their annoying fellow human beings.

Monday, July 18, 2011

All the Perfect Drugs and Super Heroes

From: T. A. FartMan
Sent: July 18, 2011 10:03 AM
To: W_____
Subject: Our Theme Song

Hey W___,

Sorry 'bout the dustup over Phoenix the other day. I've explained to Bowel Boy that he can't just let loose like that near a populated area.

Even though the AZ Haboob wasn't exactly my fault, I wanna make amends with you. So here's a little goodwill gesture. If you haven't heard of Aimee Mann, then introducing you to her music is one of the best favors I could do for you, or for anybody.

Click here to listen to a clip from the Official T. A. FartMan Theme Song, Humpty Dumpty, from Aimee Mann's album Lost in Space.

An excerpt of the first lines of lyrics:
Say you were split, you were split in fragments
And none of the pieces would talk to you,
Wouldn't you want to be who you had been?
Well baby I want that too.

So better take the keys
And drive forever.
Staying won't put these

Futures back together.
All the perfect drugs

And Super Heroes
Wouldn't be enough

To bring me up to zero.

Baby, you're great. You've been more than patient,
Saying it's not a catastrophe.
But I'm not the boy you once put your faith in,
Just someone who looks like me.
Fits you and me just about perfect, doncha think?

Now you owe me one!

T. A. FartMan

P.S. Here's a link to a fun video of Aimee performing the song live, with a little help from the audience: Fans Help on Humpty Dumpty.


  1. I am finding you totally amazing! I am overwhelmed at the support and Love you have given me...and you don't know me! Totally awesome!
    Thank you so much for making a donation in my honor!
    I hope you know that your words have pushed me through this tough time.I hope that I can do the same for you! Thank you, Sarcoma Chic!!!

  2. Michelle,

    T. A. would remind you that he's not amazing, but that he is Astonishing!

    Your blog IS amazing . . .

    so heartfelt and beautiful and true,
    it helps me to get through, too.