The Absurd Epistolary Adventures of the Astonishing FartMan chronicles the amusing escapades
of the lovable, stinky, and obnoxious Cape & Tights Super Hero, and his maudlin Alter Ego, W____,
as they learn to cope with Stage IV colon cancer, each other, and their annoying fellow human beings.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Being Nice Can Be Soooooo Tiring

From: The Astonishing FartMan
Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 6:14 PM
To: SZ
Subject: Re: W____'s Trip to the Oncologist
Hey SZ,

Yes, being nice to everybody can be sooooooooo tiring for me!

Not exactly sure where they'll do the chemo--probably either at B____ Clinic or M________ Hosp. My oncologist works out of the Clinic (he's on the faculty of the College of Medicine), and also practices at M_______, so the chemo might be done at either place.

The chemo is done on an outpatient basis. The way it works is, once every two weeks for 3 months, I'll go to the clinic for a few hours, and they'll dose me with a chemo cocktail while I sit in a LAY-Z-BOY recliner. Then they'll hook me to a portable infusion pump, which I get to take home and carry around with me for 46 hours while it hits me up with more devil juice. Two days later, I go back to the clinic, and they unhook the pump machine.

If all goes according to plan, after we finish the 3 month course of chemo, then they're going to cut some pieces out of my liver, and then we'll do another 3 months worth of fortnightly chemo.

Sounds like fun, huh?!?!

The Astonishing FartMan

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