The Absurd Epistolary Adventures of the Astonishing FartMan chronicles the amusing escapades
of the lovable, stinky, and obnoxious Cape & Tights Super Hero, and his maudlin Alter Ego, W____,
as they learn to cope with Stage IV colon cancer, each other, and their annoying fellow human beings.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Out of the Blue

From: W____
Sent: Sunday, August 15, 2010 11:51 AM
To: St____ M___
Subject: Out of the Blue

Hey St____,

You always say, and I think it's true, that even though we go a long time without hearing from each other, we always pick up as friends with you and B____ right where we left off. Well, this time I have some not-so-great news and a favor to ask.

Wednesday I experienced a gastro-intestinal event that led to an ambulance ride to M________ Hospital. After a couple of days of poking, prodding, and pictures, the docs informed me that I have colon cancer, with a couple of lesions on my colon and a couple of spots where it has migrated to my liver. (I'm now a leading candidate to be the 2010 Poster Boy to remind everyone to get that colonoscopy they've been putting off.) The docs have let me out of the hospital for the weekend, but tomorrow (Monday) they've got me scheduled for a PET Scan to see more definitively what is going on and then the plan is to do surgery tomorrow afternoon to take out a big chunk of my colon. After that, we'll have to see what's possible and do the best we can.

The favor: You are one of the two or three people in this world I would trust with both my soul and all my worldly goods, and for that reason I've told S____ that you are a person she should turn to in case she ever has a problem that you might help her figure out.

As much as possible, S_____ and I are trying to have a "normal" weekend together to calm and strenghten our spirits for what's ahead, but things are a whirlwind for us right now as we try to get ourselves organized to manage things over the next weeks and months, so we might not be able to talk with you in person for a few days. Still, I wanted to let you in on what's going on, and if I get a break from the doctors tomorrow, I'll try to give you a call.



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